Space, according to Star Trek, is “the final frontier.”  But in terms of how we relate to ourselves and others, especially our children, space is really the first frontier.  In order to have a relationship with anyone, we must first have the space in which to relate.  Often, the challenges parents have in relating to, communicating with, or understanding their children stem from a lack of space.

The space I’m referring to here is, of course, not the vast dark and starry space of Star Trek.  Rather, I’m referring to Space as a quality of energy based upon a foundation of permission.  While physical space to move and play, create and explore in is necessary, we can benefit our children greatly by also giving them Space to Be the spiritual beings–the limitless, capable souls–that they are, while remaining as physically close and present as necessary to assure their physical and emotional well-being.  When we give our children Space, we are essentially creating a field of permission, acceptance, trust and welcoming for them to enter into and thrive as souls in a body.

When we relate to our children, amidst all of our concerns for their well-being and the various desires we may have for them, we may find ourselves resisting, judging, or even trying to control the decisions they make.  If we instead choose to give them space to Be, we find that their own wisdom, clarity and inherent abilities naturally emerge.  Giving our children Space to Be does not mean we ignore them or avoid interacting and connecting with them.  It also does not mean we are never interested in, or concerned about, their choices, interests and activities.  Giving Space means we value their wisdom and ability as a soul, and trust in that powerful essence to guide and direct their lives in the most beneficial way.  It means that we trust and accept where our children are on their path, even if that means watching them make a mistake they will learn from, rather than trying to control their choices and actions.

As parents, we have the unique role of discerning when giving our child space means stepping back and allowing them to fall or fly, and when to reach out, pick them up and carry them over the mud until they are ready to handle the terrain on their own.  There is no formula for this: it is a moment by moment, individual parent and child situation.  Yet, as a rule, we can know that by first Giving Space, we offer an environment of respect, validation, awareness and empowerment in which our children can grow and flourish as powerful, wise and capable souls in bodies.